My Brother Bought a Mansion

Join me on this journey through James’s new home


Today is my day off, instead of being super lazy and doing nothing my brother convinced me to drive him to the airport “Family, dude” is what he said. He offered to pay me $40, buy me lunch and pay the tolls for whatever highway we take, not bad for a day off work…when I hesitated he said “I looked it up on uber and it would have been $80 so you’re getting a deal!” it took me a good 3 minutes to realized I wasn’t the one getting the deal… I’m at his house now… is it too late to ask for more money?

Driving down his street was like driving down a super long road, I don’t even think it can be considered a “street”…well I missed his house at first, all these damn country homes need bigger numbers! I pull into the driveway…tell me why his house has two entrances. I was so confused and didn’t know where to go, good thing I had my phone to call him!

Finally made it into the house after going through the side door (went into the garage first…technically it was on the side of the house so no wonder I thought it was the side door). I was absolutely shocked when I saw his house…how is it that my younger brother lives in this mansion and I’m still in my childhood bedroom #Priorities.

The main room is so spacious, I probably would have decorated a little differently, the brick wall detail is to die for…came with the house. The tiger detailing really adds character to the room, it really sets a Mike Tyson vibe. The bed is there because they are selling it…hence the sign they put up.

A lot of their furniture has been frugally purchased…junking. That would explain their knight and shining armour watching over the room.


Natural sunlight brightens this room through the enormous doors that lead to the top level deck that wraps around the house.

And of course the kitchen…the most important part of the house.


James walks towards the kitchen windows to show me where he likes to stand when he’s hungover.

There are 4 bedrooms on the upper level – you don’t need to see that, just a bunch of boys live there so you can imagine what that looks and smells like. James, if you are reading this, I’m just kidding, you guys maintain well…however, you do have a garage, you don’t need to keep your tires in your room, I think they will be okay!


James took me on the tour to the basement and shit got real! This is where I discovered that this house has multiple dungeons, what looks like a slaughter room…and some other nice rooms. We started walking down the stairs, passed the front door which is encased in glass…how fancy! That muddy blanket is there from a party they had the other night (of course!)

The basement is furnished with a built in bar, they have a pretty sick lounge area with sliding doors behind the couches that lead outside and that other room…a library. Didn’t realize I was walking into the modern day castle from Beauty and the Beast (that was cheesy and I hate myself for that but I’m not going to bother taking it out).

The “library” has a more refined feel…can you believe these guys found this table and all the matching chairs while ‘junking’?! Also, lets just take in that incredibly terrifying painting that came with the house…obviously haunted.

The basement just kept going, we think the laundry room used to be a slaughter room where they killed cows…how did we get to this conclusion? Its farm country and theres a drain on the floor. The laundry chute was pretty neat. Other rooms include a DIY gym, I think its still in the works, two dungeons, a games room where ping pong was played too vigorously causing it to break, a jam room, a bathroom with heated ceilings…like, why? and a long hallway. Can you tell I’m getting tired of writing about this giant house?

After the long journey inside of the house James took me to see the backyard where they play golf, throw barn parties, and the fire pit! I did a lot of walking so we will just call that my workout for the day.


I’d say its been one hell of a productive day! After that grand tour I took a two hour drive from Brooklin to Pearson Airport to drop James off (have fun in Florida!) then drive back home…speaking of that long ass drive, I never got my money! …or lunch for that matter… I hope he knows I won’t be picking him up from the airport until I get that!